It's almost time for the Holiday season, and that means that it's almost time for our annual Christmas party at the office. It may have been something that I've looked forward to in the past, albeit with some trepidation. Now it's something that I'm bullied into because me and my hilarious tees are the main entertainment for the party. Aren't I the luckiest?
It all started when I went out to have a few drinks with my close office pals. We had some drinks, slapped some hi-five's, and then did some shots of tequila. As soon as tequila enters the equation, I got a little wild. After skipping the first two Christmas parties, my buddies demanded that I come to that year's. According to them, it was full of a bunch of people too afraid to have a good time. It needed someone to show everyone it was okay to act like a fool...and in my drunken state, I happily agreed.
There was a fair amount of pressure on me, but there was no way I was going to go nuts at this party. This was my career, after all. I wore a fairly racy Holiday shirt that played off the old "mistletoe" gag. I even wore a pair of reindeer antlers. Cute, but not crazy, is what I wanted to go for. Then tequila got involved, and things got a little nuts. I have a weakness for that agave-based libation, and I don't remember an awful lot about the end of the party. I was told later that I spent a while locked in the boss' office. Locked in the attractive, divorced boss' office with her in it. Someone kill me.
The next year wasn't much better, either. I was determined to force myself into a corner and be a wallflower. I wore a normal Christmas tee with normal reindeer on it. I was the most boring guy you could ever imagine, which was all according to plan. I messed up by telling my office buddies that I was going to play it cool that year, and they double-crossed me. I should have expected it. They brought tequila and a saucy Christmas t-shirt for me to wear. When tequila is involved, there is nothing I can do except act like a fool. There are photocopies of my rear floating around out there somewhere, much to my shame.
I guess I'm the King of the Office Christmas Party now. It's not a crown that I wear easily, I assure you. Some people would revel in the popularity and attention, but I really don't want to be known across the company as "the guy who wears funky Christmas tees, shoots tequila, and photocopies his rear." I guess it's not all bad. I did get a pretty good raise this year, after all. I guess it's time for me to start shopping around for insane Christmas tees before someone buys one for me.
It all started when I went out to have a few drinks with my close office pals. We had some drinks, slapped some hi-five's, and then did some shots of tequila. As soon as tequila enters the equation, I got a little wild. After skipping the first two Christmas parties, my buddies demanded that I come to that year's. According to them, it was full of a bunch of people too afraid to have a good time. It needed someone to show everyone it was okay to act like a fool...and in my drunken state, I happily agreed.
There was a fair amount of pressure on me, but there was no way I was going to go nuts at this party. This was my career, after all. I wore a fairly racy Holiday shirt that played off the old "mistletoe" gag. I even wore a pair of reindeer antlers. Cute, but not crazy, is what I wanted to go for. Then tequila got involved, and things got a little nuts. I have a weakness for that agave-based libation, and I don't remember an awful lot about the end of the party. I was told later that I spent a while locked in the boss' office. Locked in the attractive, divorced boss' office with her in it. Someone kill me.
The next year wasn't much better, either. I was determined to force myself into a corner and be a wallflower. I wore a normal Christmas tee with normal reindeer on it. I was the most boring guy you could ever imagine, which was all according to plan. I messed up by telling my office buddies that I was going to play it cool that year, and they double-crossed me. I should have expected it. They brought tequila and a saucy Christmas t-shirt for me to wear. When tequila is involved, there is nothing I can do except act like a fool. There are photocopies of my rear floating around out there somewhere, much to my shame.
I guess I'm the King of the Office Christmas Party now. It's not a crown that I wear easily, I assure you. Some people would revel in the popularity and attention, but I really don't want to be known across the company as "the guy who wears funky Christmas tees, shoots tequila, and photocopies his rear." I guess it's not all bad. I did get a pretty good raise this year, after all. I guess it's time for me to start shopping around for insane Christmas tees before someone buys one for me.
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Unknown - Saturday, November 10, 2012
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